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# 626…Friday, November 14, 2014…Colder Than a Witches Tit Hash
If the name of the hash gives you any clue, then you probably guessed that it was a cold one tonight. Gone are the days when we could show up in shorts and a t-shirt and not need a cranium lamp (unless hashing one of Cuntput’s endless trails). The coats and gloves were on as we met up at White River State Park, not expecting to see very many witches’ tits tonight. The hash description warned that $3 had to be paid for parking, but upon arrival we were told that we could probably get away without paying. An honorable boyscout named Money$hot paid the three bucks, but there were a few of us that probably wouldn’t have paid it regardless. A Ray of FUCKING Sunshine, soon to be the newest recipient of the first hare patch, accompanied by Nautical Pussy, laid a trail around the canal district. Despite the cold weather, we still had a hardcore group of around 20 hashers who seemed to be turned by the cold. Lawrence of the Labia, Just Jessica, Just Tim, Commie Blow Jabi (and his evil wiener dogs), Did We Fuck?, Butt Chug, Desperate Lay, Fish Lips, Twat Floss and Money$hot were among the wanks who decided to show up. Lost in Place was Flasic before the hash even started. He reportedly ‘couldn’t for the life of me’ find the parking lot. We can only try to imagine how useless he would have been at finding trail.
After introductions and the trail marks being awkwardly explained by Cuntput, the pack set out to get moving and warm up. Cuntput, Just Juba and our recently married Icelandic princess, Triceratits very quickly came across a BC 7. We went along the canal where we had the perfect combination of checks and tit checks to keep this trail from being a death by straightaways. Our first boob check led some of us up the stairs to the street, while true trail continued by the canal. We also had a Turky/Eagle split. The ‘tough’ route was to go down the elevator and the ‘easy’ route was to go down the stairs. We went straight on the canal by the canal apartments and the observant ones of the pack saw a PC which of course stood for “Piss Check”. The PC was in front of an unlocked door leading to the first floor of an apartment building in which there were some restrooms. They were glorious; by far the best leak I have ever taken on trail.
The beer check was not too far after the PC. The beer check overlooked the head (wsh?) of the canal by the Indiana State Museum, the IU Hospital and Canal 337. We enjoyed some cold ones and 20 minutes later Butt Chug and company showed up at the beer stop. We suspected that there was an orgy happening in luxurious bathroom, but we could not confirm it.
After the first beer check we took a left and went down West Street. We went by the JW Marriott and the Herron School of Art. We hit up a check on Michigan Street and then crossed West Street and went over to Military Park. The beer check was near the pavilion at the park. Under the pavilion there were some blankets and tarps. It took us a second to realize that there were people underneath those blankets. A sympathetic Anxiously Anal gave the trail snacks to the homeless as the pack held their breath and watched. Here is video footage of exactly what happened:
Trail leading back went along the other side of the canal. We got lost by a dog park, but after a few we found the way back. Upon returning everyone was ready to warm up and pleaded for a quick circle. The five-minute circle witnessed very few hash crimes, the most notable being Anxiously Anal’s feeding the homeless our leftover corn starch snacks. The hares drank for their shiggyless trail and A Ray of FUCKING Sunshine was given a virgin hare patch. Butt Chug was made to stay in the circle for leaving his headgear on (even though it was 20 degrees!!!). We swung low and then went to the on-after at Bourbon Street.
It was announced that the next trail will be in a glorious land between Indianapolis and Kentucky. A land of NASCAR, trailer parks, meth and moonshine.... The beautiful Martinsville to be exact. Cum on down and inbreed with your favorite incestuous hashers from Indyscent and Bloomingfools! …It’s incest time in Indiana this Saturday, November 22 at 3pm!