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#630…Bark at the Moon Hash Trash…Wednesday, December 3, 2014
Long after the soccer moms packed up their minivans and left a group of around 20 hashers showed up at Lawrence Community Park. Virgin hare Double Stuffed Whoreo and Cumming and Going were the hares of this S-H-I-T-T-Y T-R-A-I-L. Among those in the pack tonight were Pedeltration, Just Maggie, Big Ol’ Box of Cocks, Snatch Cracker, 6 Year Itch, Flabong Me, Nautical Pussy, Lawrence of the Labia, A Ray of FUCKING Sunshine and, of course, our favorite Hawaiian transplant, Gayfully Employed.
We embarked south from the park and hit a patch of shiggy which led to some tracks where we went west. Apparently there were some back checks, but solving trail was largely left to those named Did We Fuck? and Weird Al. We went straight down the tracks and almost missed a giant hares’ arrow. A couple of checks through the neighborhood brought us out on 56th Street going east. We stopped by the lodge where we were greeted with some delicious beer. The choices of the beer were simple: Natural Ice or Natural Ice. If you’re expecting a keg of craft beer at every hash, you’l l have to go to Bloomingfools for that. We ate our cookies drank our beer and threw some cheesy poofs at Wendy’s dog, Just Remy.
We proceeded south and went into the skateboarding park. Near the starting location, we found some Peppermint Vodka and some meth. We passed it around and had a good time. With the starting location in site the majority of the pack jogged back in unison. A few were tempted to skip that last boob check. We were so close to the on-in the end was in sight, but Wendy arrived and showed us the value of patience. The trail was short, sweet and simple, (unlike the 6+ mile Wednesday night trail laid in August 2012 by Cuntput and Sucks the Dick).
To start the circle we assessed the trail’s strengths and weaknesses and then kindly offered the hares some constructive feedback for areas of improvement. Feeding the dogs unhealthy snacks, shortcutting and autoharing were pretty much the only hash crimes the pack dared to accuse their fellow wankers of. On-sec consisted of everyone in the circle drinking for however many hashes we had done. Just Jeff joined us for his first run and was instructed in the down-down by Weird Al. When asked who made him cum, he replied that Google made him cum. The hashhit was awarded as the temperature began to fall. Nautical Pussy and Desperate Lay were the two main wankers in the running for the prestigious hashhit. It appeared that Nautical would be the repeat winner by a few votes, but low and behold a hash miracle occurred. 13 Inch Cock Shower awarded the hashhit to Desperate Lay, who apparently woke up this morning and said to himself “I want to drink out of a plunger today”. He downed that mixture of Rolling Rock, High Life, rubber particles and semen in two gulps and with a smile.
Pedaltration announced that they are going to Iowa to visit Trim and Proper and hash there this Saturday. Weird Al announced Bloomingfools is having a Christmas hash this Saturday as well. Our next hash is the Twelve Down Downs of Christmas which will be on Friday the 12th. The on-after was at Fort Ben Harrison Brew Pub.