Well, the much-a-do about IndyScent Prom 2012 is all over, all but cleaning our
dresses, finding those responsible, and as always, ridding lots of local mouths
of a bad taste.
This year a new record was set with more than 90 hashers from around the midwest
and Ireland attending. Friday night's festivities began near 3pm with hashers
arriving to set up and organize all the fun and frolic and by 5 the kegs were
tapped and included some of Indy's finest brew: Sun King, along with the hash
staples of Coors Light and Bud Light.
Hash-Haberdashery was set up at the rego table by Salad Tosser who gladly
invited any purchaser of awesome hash-gear, a shot of Skittles flavored
Everclear, mmmm, good stuff there. Along with Salad's "shine" there was a
generous amount of gummy bears soaked in whiskey, and thank you Brokeback
Belcher for abstaining from these!!
Friday night's hash wasn't to be cancelled due to the rain, instead we were off
towards White River Parkway and then down the slippery slope to the river bank
where some un-lucky wank, a certain Mr. All Hands on Dick lost his glasses.
Thankfully he found them with the help of a certain hasher who used his Skills
to locate them. This was just the first of losses Captain All Hands on Dick
would experience this weekend, tough break, man!
The trail then moved over to the Reta Mozel Sanders Park, just north of our host
hotel and circle was held while Jacoochie slept curled up on the ground like a
housecat. Hash crimes were handed out generously, many for made-up crimes,
others for real hash transgressions, like sleeping during circle!!
Once we returned from trail, everyone rushed to their rooms, brushed their
teeth, and retired for the night in order to be well rested and sober for
Saturday's prom, well, that was me anyway. I think a few other wise hashers did
the same while the majority kept playing flippy-cup, Yhatzee, Twister, and
bridge, with DF winning all competitions and Gutterballs losing all hope in new
friends on Tuesday.
Saturday all things were in order for our most beautiful day. Our most
voluptuously religious Religious Advisor Pissing Ditzy spent the entire night
before performing religious ceremonies to hold off the rain, and as expected was
successful. I'm unsure if this involved her being on her knees, or having others
on their knees before her, but this lady knows her stuff!
As the kegs and drop bags were being loaded the silence of the day was
interrupted by the sound of a giant boner bus backing towards the Hashpatality
Suite and Dumbcumster became so excited that she ran inside and announced
loudly, "We know it's going to be a great trail when the bus has Boner written
on the side of it." Special thanks to Jewbacca for his social outreach skills
in securing the bus from his local gay bath house.
As the bus began to pull away, the wandering Gutterballs slowly and stumblingly
sauntered down the ramp from breakfast with the lovely paramour du jour, 20#. No
panic for them, as a 2nd bus would be back, but still, get ready you slow asses,
The start location was underneath I-65 at 11th Street right off Delaware Street,
it was a little cold due to the wind, but it was good protection should the rain
begin to fall. Thankfully the beer wagon was with us and we kept our pre-lube
going as we waited for the second bus, which apparently sucks. You see, as it
began to come down the street, Double Fister lead the halfpack into a chant of
"Second Bus Sucks!!" We were all in chorus yelling "Second Bus Sucks" as it
pulled up, while all the passengers looked on curiously. What the chorus didn't
know was that with the bus windows closed, they couldn't hear us until the door
opened. It was fun and of course the 2nd bus proved how much and how well
they sucked by disembarking from the bus, falling to their knees and performed
the largest fellatio formation in oral history.
We circled up, blessed the hares then pissed before refilling our beers and
we're on-on trail. The trail was divided into 4 segments allowing each pair of
hares to enjoy the trail with the first leg of the trail being laid by Indyscent
GM Camotow and his first lady Jacoochie. The trail when south on Delaware
Street as curious onlookers pointed, gawked, and photographed our massive parade
of fashionably drunk hashers hit trail.
From Delaware Street, we went west on Walnut Street where the trail made its way
on the Cultural Trail, then on to Senate Ave towards the 900 block of Lafayette
Street where Beer Check #1 was stationed. It was the same location from last
year and thankfully enough time had passed that the place was once again clean
and presentable to a prom crowd.
Since the day was rather cold and dreary, few people were on the canal and
totally missed the spectacle, at least for a short while.....
Once the beer was gone, so were the new hares. We trailed south alongside the
IU School of Pubic Health where everyone's murkin was examined and found to be
in good health, or at least adequate. It was then along the canal going south
past Michigan Street where we accidentally rendezvoused with a wedding party.
Fortunately, the wedding party was on the opposite side of the canal although
they couldn't keep their eyes off the rowdy and un-tralatiously dressed drunken
and giggly mob. Unfortunately, this would not be the first time today we would
crash someone's special moment.
As we left the canal, trail headed south on Senate past the Kurt Vonnegut
Memorial Library where DF asked, "When did the guy with the hardware store die?"
A few other remarked how it's never opened and one opined that Donkey Punch just
doesn't flip the sign when it is open.
On-on past Katz & Korn, beyond the State Capitol Building where Jacoochi's
virgin Just Tom broke into sing Coppa Cabana as loudly as possible while we
skipped onward. A couple blocks away we crossed paths with the love child of
Sting and Pirkko Maeattae who asked what are you doing, in his best Finnish
accent. This was how Just Finn became a hasher.
Within a couple blocks we reach Market Tower and it's adjoining parking garage.
On the ground floor was the Turkey/Eagle Split with turkeys taking the elevator
and eagles the stairs or the ramp. Atop the parking garage was Beer Check #2.
When we arrived at the top our beers were already waiting.
I need a beer, someone else "finnish" this.